Erections

Erections are frowned upon in the nudist community. Anyone who gets an erection is supposed to cover up or take a long walk until it goes away. An erection can get you banned.

But not on TV. Male erections are celebrated by the pharmaceutical industry. If an erection lasts 4 hours are you supposed to call a doctor, but only after you've called all your buddies to boast.

Now Pfizer is launching a new ad campaign that is filled with sexual innuendo, with the type of language that will get you booted out of any nudist resort. And they are hoping to get away with the sex talk by making it all gibberish, a sort of nonsense baby speak that is suggestive without being specific.

“Viagra spanglecheff?” says a man to a friend at a bowling alley.

“Spanglecheff?” his friend asks.

“Minky Viagra noni noni boo-boo plats!” the first man replies, with a grin that suggests he is not talking about the drug’s side effects. The ads end with the slogan, “The International Language of Viagra.”

If it works, maybe the Bush administration will adopt the tactic in selling the war in Iraq.

Tags: nudism, naturism, nudist, nudists, naturist, naturists, nudity, nudes, bare, au naturel, nude, naked

The Daily Newds

• Will Spencer Tunick have his largest nude photo shoot ever on May 6?

  "For some mysterious reason, a wonderful reason, the Mexican citizens are signing up in large numbers," he said. "The waves and the nature of the place will have the purest, natural thing in the world, which is the human body."

• A Boston Herald columnist sees the absurdity in a society that uses sex to sell just about everything, yet every day there seems to be another story about a mother who is humiliated for breastfeeding in public.
• An erotic art exhibition in Beirut challenges Arab taboos.

  Hassan Mekdad, 52, called the paintings shocking, however. "The artists would have been killed if they lived in an Islamic neighbourhood," he said.

• Scotland's new regulations on adult industries might spell the end of the strip-o-gram.
• 60 year-old Jean McConnell is one of the women who posed nude for Dove soap advertisements.

  "There were shots of us seminaked and one of me looking out of a window, taking off my dressing gown and letting it drop down. It's very tastefully done." She added: "I've never felt so liberated. The older I get, the less I worry about how I look. "When I was younger, I was just like any other girl and I worried about having the perfect body all the time. Now I know to make the most of what I have rather than trying to achieve perfect pin-up looks, which is so unrealistic."

• A 30,000 year-old statue of a naked woman is evidence that sex has been about more than just procreation for a long, long time.
• A Daytona staff writer visited a nudist resort for a story.

  I stretched my arm behind my head to maximize the breeze and wondered how long it would take for the discomfort to fade. Aside from the fact I was wearing almost nothing, I also was the youngest person there. What's the attraction? I wondered. The freedom? The back-to-nature thing? I was still getting over the fact that no one stared or acted like it was strange to have sober conversation in the buff. Cool.

• A Florida park superintendent has no plans to declare Apollo Beach a nudist area since the agreement expired last year, although her legal options to prevent nude sunbathers are limited.
• A Pennsylvania woman has been denied a teaching degree on the eve of her graduation because of a MySpace photo that showed her dressed up as a "drunken sailor". She is suing the university.

Tags: nudism, naturism, nudist, nudists, naturist, naturists, nudity, nudes, bare, au naturel, nude, naked

The Weekend Newds

• Australian nudists have set up the nation's first beach patrol to report any lewd behavior.
• Many women suffer from poor body image, and the problem seems to be getting worse.

  Many women swagger confidently through business meetings and cocktail parties. But once they shed the armor of Diane von Furstenberg dresses and True Religion jeans, they become flustered schoolgirls, ashamed of everything from scars and birthmarks to stretch marks and small breasts. And in an age when many women yearn for the airbrushed perfection of Beyonce and Jennifer Aniston, it's easy to assume that men do, too.

• There is more bare flesh on display in Germany as Europe experiences record warmth for Spring.
• In Copenhagen, some female students removed their tops during a high school show. Although this caused a bit of a ruckus, here are no reports of any suspensions or dismissals - if this happened in the United States, they would have to close and raze the school.
• Breastfeeding mothers in the Philippines will try and set a record on May 2.
• German students all across the country are lining up to pose for naked calendars.
• Joss Stone is quoted as saying, "If the human race was not insecure we'd be walking around buck naked because we wouldn't give a [expletive]. ... We are all insecure and it's silly to say that we're not."
• Strippers packed a Columbus, Ohio, Statehouse hearing room and made an emotional appeal to lawmakers not to enact legislation that would effectively put them out of work.
• A Georgia comic book store owner has been charged with distributing indecent material to a minor when he gave out a preview copy of Nick Bertozzi’s new graphic novel The Salon which has some innocent depictions of Picasso and other artists in the nude.
• In the wake of the Don Imus brouhaha, here is a good examination of the ways that female sexual promiscuity is exploited in popular culture and the media.

Tags: nudism, naturism, nudist, nudists, naturist, naturists, nudity, nudes, bare, au naturel, nude, naked

The Daily Newds

• Officials in Clewiston, Florida, are proposing a ban on nudity in all commercial establishments.
• A student at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln needed a job and became a nude model for an art class. The experience was a little "surreal" at first, but eventually posing helped her to overcome her body complex. In a related story, a nude model at Bowling Green reports a similar life-changing experience.

  "If you are thinking about modeling, honestly, it's the best self-esteem booster ever," she said. "I've never loved my body so much, and I've never weighed so much either."

• Bart Simpson is reported to have done a full-frontal nude scene for his upcoming movie.
• A naturist couple in the UK posed for Full Monty Python photographs to promote Cornwall's Eden Project.
• A school principal in Canada went to a nudist beach and his wife took an artistic photo of him at the shore, with no visible genitalia. The photograph was circulated by accident and the school system suspended the principal, calling it a "moral issue". Parents and students are overwhelmingly supportive of Mark Classen.

  About 100 parents showed up at a school meeting Monday night to discuss the issue. (School Board Chairman) Sinclair said there was overwhelming support from parents who said they wanted Classen back at the school. Only three parents publicly opposed the idea..."It's been blown 100 per cent out of proportion."

• Topfreedom is gaining in popularity every year, according to this 2007 Las Vegas pool guide.
• A Boston area cardiologist was kicked out of a store for breastfeeding her baby.

Tags: nudism, naturism, nudist, nudists, naturist, naturists, nudity, nudes, bare, au naturel, nude, naked

The Daily Newds

• City officials in Lansing, Michigan, are contemplating the relocation of a bronze stature of a nude male because it "raised eyebrows".
• Police in Tehran are cracking down on women who do not comply with strict Islamic dress codes.

  The boldness of some women in Tehran in showing fashionably styled hair peeking out from beneath their headscarves, wearing trousers that reveal naked ankles and figure-hugging mantos (coats) has infuriated conservatives.

• San Diego Padres' Brian Giles once took batting practice in the nude.
• A Rastaman, once possessed by demons, is trying to live a perfect life.

  But, Wayne Saunders has opted to go nude in public, about which he said, "Because I don't have no sin, I don't have nothing hiding, 'cause when you don't have sin you have no shame ..." Nudity to him signifies perfection, but for the police, public nudity is against the law, and the two ideas clashed from time to time, resulting in his being removed from the streets. Several times he has been beaten, stoned and 'bottled' for this naked demonstration of perfection.

• A 40 year-old clerk took a naked romp in Rome's Trevi Fountain and now faces a heavy fine for public indecency, in a country where nude art is as common as pigeons.
• The education ministry in Turkey recently censored a schoolbook with the image of the Delacroix painting "Liberty Leading the People" because Liberty's breasts are bare, and secular Turks are fearful of the "creeping Islamist threat".
• Men are more likely than women to fixate on "private parts" when looking at other people, male or female, clothed or nude. And both sexes are prone to check out animal genitalia.
• A woman recalls her experiences of posing nude for the Greek artist Nikos Hadjikyriakos-Ghikas.
• A new art gallery at Idaho State University has been asked to cover up an exhibition of nude photographs in order to "protect the children". In response, a group of demonstrators cloaked some video games located near the gallery which they felt were more harmful to children than artistic nudity.
• The Ohio Civil Rights Commission has ruled that a woman had every right to breastfeed her child at a local health club.

Tags: nudism, naturism, nudist, nudists, naturist, naturists, nudity, nudes, bare, au naturel, nude, naked

The Weekend Newds

• A play featuring full frontal nudity is coming under attack in Saginaw.

  Gary Glenn, president of the Midland-based American Family Association of Michigan, believes the play might violate a state law banning indecent exposure. When asked if he plans to see the play, he replied "absolutely not." He said he doesn't need to view something objectionable to disapprove it.

• UK naturists are fighting to save their nude beach which is in danger from developers.
• 200 Australian nudists are expected to gather on a beach to celebrate Anzac Day.

  "We have got family activities bringing families onto the beach for just fun and games, whereas the majority of people who are out there marching in the parades will probably just go to the pub and drink themselves silly," she said. "I would say our (event) is far more reverent than anything else."

• The fashion industry wants people to believe that a return to more "modest" swimsuits reveals a trend toward more "simpler times". The reality is that you cannot get more simple than nude, covering up even more is a return to more repressive times.
• A breastfeeeding mom who was with her family to celebrate her son's 13th birthday has been kicked out of a Boca Raton restaurant. After the woman filed a police report and hired an attorney, the management of the restaurant has offered an apology.

  Glenn Viers, vice president and general counsel of the Beverly Hills-based Hillstone Restaurant Group, which owns Houston's, sent a letter to Smith on Friday with the company's apology to the Bertuccis and an invitation for them to return."We mishandled the situation and we very much regret it," Viers said. "I can't un-ring a bell. I've got three kids and my wife breastfed. Stuff happens. We're human, we make mistakes and we strive not to."If any good can be derived from the incident, Viers said, it will be that awareness about nursing moms will be heightened.

• In other breastfeeding news, the wet nurse is making a comeback among those with the means to afford the luxury.
• Penn and Teller have weighed in on the issues surrounding women's breasts, such as topfreedom, augmentation, and cancer. The production for Showtime has typical male sophomoric humor but does raise some relevant points and is worth checking out. (hat tip to TERA)
• 14 New Zealand women have posed for a fundraising calendar "with nothing but pearls and a few strategically placed farm implements to protect their modesty".
• London is about to be invaded by 30 full-size nude male statues.
• May 5 is Inter-College Nudist Day sponsored by the Solair Recreation League in Woodstock, Connecticut. Students from more than 30 New England colleges have been invited to give naturism a try. Here is a link to the Solair page.
• A woman has been kicked out of the Miss Universe competition because she posed for some photos that prove she has breasts.
• Jane Magazine's annual naked issue is due out in August, and stars to strip for the mag include supermodel Heidi Klum, snowboarder Gretchen Bleiler, and actresses Jenna Fischer, Denise Richards, Sanaa Lathan, Brittany Snow, Rachel Blanchard and Rachel Miner.

Tags: nudism, naturism, nudist, nudists, naturist, naturists, nudity, nudes, bare, au naturel, nude, naked

The Daily Newds

• In the Austrian Alps, it's considered a tad silly to wear a swimsuit into the sauna.
• A Chanel ad has been deemed too "hot" for broadcast even though it contains no nudity.
• A Wisconsin tavern owner has been holding "Fetish Night" for more than six years without incident, but recently was handed a citation for indecency because of some soft-core videos that were shown.

  "Isn't it a moral issue?" Larsen, a former town supervisor, said. "I guess I don't want the town to be noted for its pornography in bars. There's laws against it."

• Nudists in Idaho are getting some exposure from the Boise Weekly.

  Water, it seems, is the key ingredient in almost any nudist gathering, and Barebackers membership chairman "Larry" says that it figures centrally in recruiting new members to the group. "Skinny dipping is the single biggest experience that Americans have to relate to [nudism]," he explains, citing his decades of nude-beach swimming prior to joining the Bare Backers only five years ago. "It is simply so much nicer not to have to wear those clammy things [trunks] than to swim in them. I just wish that it was more encouraged in this country."

• Neighbors of a woman who likes to walk about freely in the nude have failed in their efforts to have her evicted.

  The landlord had unsuccessfully tried to talk the woman into improving her behaviour, but she insisted that she could walk around naked if she wanted to.

• Australian nudists have been given 12 months to prove that they can maintain good behavior if they want to keep their nude beach status.
• Paradise Lakes Resort will host a Body Art Festival and “Cotton Tail 5K” Run on Saturday, April 21.
• Prosecutors in China had no legal case against a woman who organized nude chats on the Internet.
• Two clubs in the UK have been given permission for all-nude dancers.
• A Ronald McDonald house has told a woman that she cannot breastfeed her child in a communal dining area. The 17 month old baby is recovering from surgery for a brain tumor.
• 60% of young Israelis find the sight of a nursing mother offensive.
• An Alabama County Commissioner is cracking down on adult businesses.

  "This whole thing is kind of silly," said Nate Davis, of Autauga County. "There's real problems out there the commission should be dealing with. There are no nudie bars or dirty bookstores in the county. I don't see what all the fuss is over."

• A Spanish politician has once again posed nude for a magazine, this time for the cover, an still has support from both parties.
• Mexico might ban a Spencer Tunick nude photo shoot planned to be staged at ancient pyramids.

Tags: nudism, naturism, nudist, nudists, naturist, naturists, nudity, nudes, bare, au naturel, nude, naked

The Weekend Newds

• On Iran's Caspian Riviera, fibreglass barriers are being erected so that men will not be able to see women in their bathing suits.
• The South Shore Arts Council on Prince Edward Island is celebrating 25 years of accomplishments. In the beginning, there were many locals who wondered why it was necessary for them to be drawing nude models.

  People were told ‘If you want to draw the groceries, you have to take them out of the bag.’ There were no more questions after that.

• Shoppers in the UK were startled by a group of nude dancers on top of a double decker bus, but it turned out to be just people in body stockings promoting bath products.
• A study shows that men who look at nude photos are more likely to look at faces first before any other body areas.
• A Northern Arizona University student who has been a nudist since she was 10 is trying to organize a nudist club at her school.

  "I talk to people on Facebook who go naked to the beach but would never think of going to a club," Faber says. Faber says she hikes and cooks naked. "It hurts if the grease pops," Faber says. "Some people I know have gone skydiving naked, but I refuse."

• Carmen Electra is hosting the Naked Women's Wrestling League (click for video).
• Former supermodel Paulina Porizkova has a problem with older women like Farrah Fawcett and Jaid Barrymore posing nude.

  She said: 'Do you really think they looked hot? I don't think so. Those pictures gave me nightmares. I thought they looked like train wrecks. Somebody should have told them to know better.

• Thousands of corporate recruits across Japan will be facing "fancy-dress humiliation" as part of some sort of pop culture ritual, with nude suits causing the most commotion.

  The suits were so realistic that many elderly Japanese assumed that they were being subjected to a deeply inappropriate burlesque show at what should have been family viewing time. NHK, flooded with the largest number of complaints it has received, was forced to spend New Year's Day drafting an official apology.

• BEST OF THE BREAST: Jennifer Garner refers to her post-nursing breasts as "baby biscuits"; Women with an ample supply are selling their breast milk online, and some of the customers are men with breast milk fetishes; and if you are one of the men purchasing breast milk online, drinking it just might help you slim down; finally, an 18 year-old woman has been charged with assaulting a police officer with breast milk - apparently she sprayed the officer with milk from her right breast after being arrested for shoplifting.

Tags: nudism, naturism, nudist, nudists, naturist, naturists, nudity, nudes, bare, au naturel, nude, naked

The Daily Newds

• A request by Freedom Airlines to throw out a complaint from a breastfeeding mother who was kicked off a plane in Vermont has been rejected by the Vermont Human Rights Commission.
• 2500 British naturists are expected to gather in Cornwall this June for the Eden Project.
• A decision to officially designate a Devon beach as a naturist zone has been delayed in order to gather more feedback from the public.
• A champion speedskater has posed for nude photographs in order to promote the sport and gain a sponsor.
• Art student Hayley Richardson has assembled a gallery show with photographs of cancer survivors.

  The women in the black-and-white photographs are topless, revealing scarred or missing breasts. Many are smiling, some wear masks, and all are identified by first name, birth year and year of diagnosis."The pictures should give survivors a sense of pride," Richardson said. "It shows how something beautiful can come out of a traumatic experience."

Tags: nudism, naturism, nudist, nudists, naturist, naturists, nudity, nudes, bare, au naturel, nude, naked

The Daily Newds

• Two South Carolina students decided to go streaking. They did not expect that some harmless college fun would cause them to be kicked off the swim team and to be charged by police with indecent exposure.
• The Autism Society of Florida will gladly take the donation offered by the Tampa Erotic Ball, but they do not want their name to be associated with the adult event.
• Fashion designer Jean Paul Gaultier confirms the common perception of what Scottish men wear under their kilts.

  "Then I went to the wedding of Madonna in Scotland," he continues, "and I was wearing a kilt. And the husband, Guy Ritchie, because his family is from Scotland, was wearing a kilt. So I asked if the legend was true that you wear nothing under it, and he told me, Yes! Voilà!'" Gaultier mimics Ritchie lifting his kilt and revealing all. "So now I know that it's true. Until that time I didn't follow the tradition but now I definitely do."

• If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around, does it make a sound? Accordingly, if a person is naked in public and nobody complains, it it a crime? In the case of Naked Rambler Stephen Gough, a judge ruled that his recent nude appearance in a public car park was not a disturbance of the peace because there was no evidence that his natural state had caused anyone alarm.
• It's not the naturists, it's the increase in traffic that is upsetting some by the recent designation of a nude beach in the UK.
• A woman with an Ivy League degree who is in the third year of Brooklyn Law School appeared naked on Playboy TV and now faces the possibility of not being admitted to the New York State Bar.
• In England, the path of a $726 million tunnel will be slightly moved in order to preserve a 400 year old tree with the carving of a nude woman.
• Naturists in a Moscow group struggle for acceptance in the face of strong disapproval from authorities and the religious community.

  For now, members don't look very worried. A woman wearing only goggles whooped as she plunged down a waterslide. In the sport center's tiny banya, both sexes cheerfully squashed up against each other, rows of pink thighs glistening with sweat. They did exercises said to expel bacteria from the nose and esophagus, unclenching their fists at nipple height and simultaneously snorting. "Not bad," a woman said, smiling to a friend.

• On April 17, the Supreme Court will rule whether or not some Florida attorneys are entitled to fee reimbursement from the state of Florida for services rendered in defending a group of naturists who posed nude in the shape of a peace symbol to protest the war in Iraq. While the first amendment is not specifically under attack in this case, a ruling against the reimbursement could mean that attorneys will be less willing to take on civil rights cases knowing that there is little or no chance of being paid.
• It's not too late to sign up for the 5k Fig Leaf clothing-optional run at Paradise Valley Resort near Dawsonville, Georgia.

Tags: nudism, naturism, nudist, nudists, naturist, naturists, nudity, nudes, bare, au naturel, nude, naked

The Weekend Newds

• This description of a society wedding in Australia in the 80s caught my eye.

  "The bride, groom and guests all danced in the nude … Vince Sorrenti, the marriage celebrant, in the guise of Dr Love with a red ribbon around his penis, stood at one end of the swimming pool while the pregnant bride and her attendants swam under a wooden bridge towards him, roses clenched between their teeth."

• Macy Gray confesses that she likes to be nude at home.

  "My mother used to walk around the house naked. She used to cook naked. I got it from her."

• Actress Sherry Glaser is bringing her hit play and her anti-war activism to Washington, DC.

  Although she has an invitation to tour the White House with her state representative, Glaser doesn’t intend to bare her breasts there.“I don’t think I would do it in the White House because we’d probably get arrested, and I don’t want to get arrested,” Glaser says. “It’s legal to be topless outside, so we’ll make do with that. We’ll do something beautiful inside, something really legal. I think it might have to do with breaking down and crying because that’s really a powerful sound.”

• The Tri-Co Nudists at Swarthmore College are struggling to find acceptance, and more members.

  “Nudism is about having fun and realizing you don’t need clothes to do that,” Tri-Co Nudists co-founder Eric Mulligan ’08 said. “There’s nothing wrong with nudity.”

Tags: nudism, naturism, nudist, nudists, naturist, naturists, nudity, nudes, bare, au naturel, nude, naked

The Daily Newds

• A Warren Ohio teacher has been fired after nude photos of him were posted on the Internet and at a local bar without his knowledge.

  " . . .the graphic nature of the nude photographs and the fact that students have been significantly impacted by, have seen or are aware of the nude photographs has undermined Mr. Tripoulas’ ability to return to the classroom and be an effective teacher,’’ according to the resolution, which also states the action was ‘‘conduct unbecoming a teacher and is immoral, unethical, unprofessional and wholly inappropriate."

• The Ocean City Maryland City Council will no longer grant licences to businesses that are "an adult arcade, adult book store, adult video store, adult cabaret, adult motel, adult motion picture theater, adult theater, escort agency, semi-nude model studio or sexual encounter center."
• Grandma is not afraid to show some skin.

  Mary Morris isn't one to put on airs. The gray-haired, 64-year-old grandmother is keeping her newfound celebrity in the advertising world firmly in perspective, even as her nude photo is plastered on a giant billboard in New York's famed Times Square. "Is that really me?" Morris remembers wondering the first time she saw that larger-than-life image a couple months ago.

• In India, the struggle to accept nudity in photography continues.

  Atul Kasbekar, the man behind the annual Kingfisher Calendar, insists nudity is a basic form of human existence. "I don't consider it alarming that nudity has become more acceptable today. In fact I would much rather see a nude form of fine art than the obscene music videos that are constantly aired on television. I find a human body very beautiful to look at," he says...However not everybody is as unequivocal as Kasbekar about nudity in photography. According to noted Mumbai photographer Daboo Ratnani: "Personally nudity is not acceptable to me. As a photographer, nudity appeals to me only when it is shot aesthetically. Moreover, such work must have a purpose. I don't subscribe to the idea of using nude photography for making money or gaining unnecessary mileage. If done for an exhibition, portfoilo or some other artistic purpose, then it's ok. But if nude pictures are meant to be published in the media, then a distinction has to be made between what is aesthetic and what is not."

• The City Council of Palm Bay Florida is seeking to regulate adult businesses and prohibit public nudity, and in Orlando strippers are now allowed to touch themselves.
• Sadly, a Rubenesque woman does all she can to hide her beautiful curves.

  Loose clothing – on a windless day, at least – will disguise an ample tummy, but in the bedroom there's no running away from it. So I suck my stomach in, walking about the bedroom in bust-out, bum-in style and feeling as if any minute now my old headmistress will present me with a deportment badge. My husband, vaguely noticing something different about my gait, once asked if I have sciatica. Actually, one thing I find really works – something I can recommend to all those women who feel too fat, or at least too unhappy with themselves, to appear naked in front of their partner – is marrying a shortsighted man.

• A Sacramento State student feels that women who are getting breast implants are just following a temporary trend.

  We need to stop focusing on the unrealistic standards, and notice the natural beauty of an individual. Sophomore nursing major Katie Haakenson agreed."I used to be really self conscious about (my breasts), but then my boyfriend made me realize how hot I was," she said. "When a girl is hot, then her breasts will be hot too."

• There is a kerfuffle in Australia over drug-testing of high school athletes - not because of the actual testing, but the fact that the boys have to pee into a cup in full view of officials.

  TIM HAWKES (Headmaster of King's School): It can be, I think, potentially quite a traumatic experience for a child to have to strip down naked in front of strange people with, you know, all the duress of officialdom around them.

• Bahamian resort workers might strike in order to avoid serving gay and nudist tourists.

Tags: nudism, naturism, nudist, nudists, naturist, naturists, nudity, nudes, bare, au naturel, nude, naked

British Couple to Open Naturist Resort in Greece

A British investment banker and her husband are letting go of their high-flying lifestyle in order to open a naturist resort on the Greek island of Kefalonia.

"When he first suggested setting up a nudist resort I thought he was bonkers. I looked into it, though, and began to come around to the idea. We flew out to Greece and found a site and loved it. "I was extremely nervous telling my family, friends and colleagues. "Most nudists never have to tell anyone what they do but I had to tell the world and it came as a surprise to some people. "My parents didn't know that I was a nudist until we came up with the business idea. "But they actually found it very interesting and were very open-minded about it. They could see it was what we want to do and have been very supportive ever since."

Tags: nudism, naturism, nudist, nudists, naturist, naturists, nudity, nudes, bare, au naturel, nude, naked

The Daily Newds

• A University of Georgia student writes about her experience trying out for Playboy magazine.

  Mr. Rams let me disrobe in the bathroom. When I came out, he wasn't ready yet, which made the whole episode a bit surreal. There I was baring my yoo-hoo while making small talk with a complete stranger. Do you have many schools to visit after this? South Carolina? How nice. Oh, by the way, I'm buck naked.

• A writer concludes that $11 for 15 minutes in a Budapest bath was worth the expense.

  You will be urged to strip naked in front of God and everyone. A man, wearing only a poorly placed loincloth, will slap the table and motion for you to lie down. This man will then beat you senseless. That is, when he is not slathering your very naked body with enormous amounts of cheap, drugstore-caliber body lotion. You will then be poked which is your cue to flip over. You will be offered no towel to cover your private parts, and it is at that point one of your masseur/dungeon master's buddies will stop in for a friendly chat, which does not mean that the massage stops. It just means your guy is a skilled multitasker. You'll then get hosed down to within an inch of your life, and you won't know it's all over until you get slapped on your hind parts, which is some sort of ancient code for "get up, you, there are other customers waiting."

• A University of Western Ontario student tries hard to understand a society where everything is sexalized, yet simple non-sexual nudity is still shocking.

  So why are we so offended by nudity? And why are these women using their bodies for shock value? Granted, it’s at their disposal when nothing else really is, but why has it become their weapon of choice? I can’t answer these questions. I can’t even come close to offering a proper solution. But when everyone around you is having sex — as they should; it’s instinctual — one would think celebrities flashing their sexual organs wouldn’t shock us so much. We have become so disconnected from our corporeality that it’s strange to see someone else’s body — let alone genitalia. From sweating to secreting, there’s something wrong and shameful about every little function.

Tags: nudism, naturism, nudist, nudists, naturist, naturists, nudity, nudes, bare, au naturel, nude, naked

The Daily Newds

• A group of Alberta cowgirls posed for a topfree calendar and raised $70,000 for the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation.

  “It’s raw beauty — we’re real-life women and we didn’t want the photos touched up,” said calendar founder Sabine Van Laere, 41, who presented the cheque during a cattle penning competition at the Okotoks Agricultural Society building.

• Cities throughout Texas have commissioned a study to determine the negative impact that strip clubs and other adult businesses have on crime. Has anyone ever done a study about the rise in crime when banks and 7-11 stores are opened?
• Colin McEnroe writes about the nude chocolate Jesus and adds a new theory as to why it is so offensive to some.

  I studied carefully photographs of the statue. It doesn't look irreverent. If I showed you the pictures and told you the statue was carved out of teak, you probably wouldn't be bothered by it, although Salon.com blogger Joan Walsh suggested this week that Cavallaro is pushing at least one other button by depicting Jesus as what New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin would call a "chocolate person." There is, of course, a centuries-old dispute, never to be resolved, about the race of Jesus and the color of his skin. I'm guessing his pigmentation was closer to Golda Meir's than to Alexander Godunov's, but who am I to say?

• A woman with a history of skin cancer goes to a professional photographer to have every single inch of her nude body documented.
• According to The Museum of Sex, the number one sexual fetish is feet and toes. Don't tell the right wing moralists because they will try and ban peep-toe shoes.

Tags: nudism, naturism, nudist, nudists, naturist, naturists, nudity, nudes, bare, au naturel, nude, naked