The Weekend Newds 2/13/09

• Columnist Jennifer Parello is approached by a harsh critic while nude in a locker room.
• A Chinese woman is flashing her lopsided breasts outside a hospital to protest her botched implants.
• A woman wearing a bikini top was booted from an Australian shopping mall because security thought she was wearing a bra.
• A divorced father of three boys writes to an advice columnist because he's concerned about the nudity they found to be "cool" on a beach vacation with their mother and her boyfriend. Instead of reassuring him that nudity on many beaches is a cultural norm, "Ellie" offers the following bad advice:

  Obviously, if you ever believe your children are being neglected or abused, you should legally object, and protect your sons in every way possible. BUT, regarding different values, your recourse depends on your keeping open good lines of communication, both with your sons and your ex.

• A British naturist club has found a new home at a public pool.

  Malcolm Boura, 56, one of the club's founders and a naturist for more than 30 years, said:"It's only a minority of people who misunderstand what naturism is about. Evidence from polls show that clearly the public in general understand.
  
  "We had one or two hiccups when we started in Mildenhall. But the council, which ran the pool at the times, was very helpful and very supportive and we had remarkably little difficulty."

• The Springfield Foundation in Ohio has requested that a painting of a nude woman by Jerry Ott be removed from the Springfield Museum of Art for their annual meeting.

  "We have a conservative donor base," explained Ted Vander Roest, the foundation's executive director. "We felt it wouldn't be to their liking.
  
  "Some of them are in their 80s."

• Students at the University of Iowa will host their first annual Nearly Naked Mile on Saturday, March 7, where runners remove layers of clothing for charity.
• Beer, floats and nudity have been banned from this year's Bay to Breakers run in San Francisco, but police said they will not issue citations for indecent exposure.
• Two Wisconsin teens face municipal citations for exchanging nude photos of themselves. Police are calling it "kids making poor choices", but the article does not state specifically what the charges are.
• That nude photo of Madonna sold for $37,500.
• Parents like this one need to start fighting back against porn charges when their kids are caught sexting.

  Brian Hunt told the Cape Cod Times that the Lawrence School students, ranging in age from 12 to 14, have "learned their lesson," and that media reports of the incident have been overblown.
  
  "They're all good kids," he said. "But they are young. A 13-year-old did what a 13-year-old did. They all knew that they weren't supposed to do it."

• The video of Salma Hayek breastfeeding another woman's baby has cast a light on the USA and its unique phobia about breastfeeding issues.

  "We've lost the concept that breastfeeding is normal and human in the United States," said (Dr. Miriam) Labbok. "In most of the world, it's [nursing someone else's baby is] as common as breastfeeding" one's own."