The Weekend Newds

• A teacher in the UK has been cleared to return to work after parents complained that her topless photos on the Internet made her unfit to teach. The children, as usual, had the proper perspective on the issue:

  "Mrs Crolla is the best teacher ever. Why should this be an excuse to sack her? "We loved her and she was a great credit to our school. We really miss her and want her back."

• The first gay nude luxury cruise is being booked for this May.

  “This is a cruise for people who like adventure and nature,” said Robert Sandla Jr., the president of Gay Naturists International, which began 23 years ago and now has more than 1,300 men who are members. “Our society is always judging people by their watch, car or job. This is about body acceptance and finding out who you really are. Many people find they get in touch with their spiritual side while on naturist vacations.”

• A New York police officer will be charged with unbecoming conduct for an off-duty nude photo which was sent to the department by a television news agency, which received it from an unknown source. Since there are no allegations of wrongdoing against the officer, this should not even be an issue.
• A Florida teacher is being threatened with dismissal if he does not give up his night job as an actor in the play "The Full Monty".

  "We kind of hold our teachers to a higher moral standard than, say, someone who works for Comcast may or even the newspaper, because we're dealing with our children every day," said Mike Riley, public information officer for the Charlotte County School District.Riley said the decision was made because of "information we received that he is nude in this play. In public schools, public nudity does not fit in, where they're coming around children."Riley said he was not aware if any school officials saw the show before making the decision. "When he reveals that he's nude in public to his supervisor, that's the word we're going on."

• What happens when a country abandons religion, allows nude bathing, legalizes prostitution and gay marriage, and accepts drug possession for personal consumption? In the case of Spain, it means tremendous economic and social development.
• Actress Salma Hayek went on a special hamburger diet in order to gain weight for an upcoming movie, in which she has a nude scene.

  She says, "Once I got naked with all that weight I said, 'You know what? It's OK.'"

• Citizens for the World have launched the BARE Campaign, an anti-poverty fashion show where the models appear semi-naked to raise awareness and money to fight world hunger.
• Computer software experts are coming to the aid of a Connecticut teacher who faces up to 40 years in prison for exposing her students to nude photos on the Internet. Julie Amero claims that she was a victim of unwanted pop-up ads on a computer with no security protection.
• A Florida Town Council candidate has severed his ties with a web site promoting clothes-free Haulover Beach because an ad service he used added links to pornographic web sites.

  "I'm not a Web master of a pornographic Web site," said Phil Busey, who is running for the District 3 seat in western Davie. "I never was and never would be. The idea of porn is disgusting."

• A Canadian naturists group has been barred from using a public pool for lack of "proper swimming attire".

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