Banning Cleavage

It's amazing to see what lengths people will go to in order to "protect" society from the "evils" of the female nipple. Today's WTF moment comes to us courtesy of the City Council of Sumner, Washington, which is so terrified of sexy female baristas coming into their jurisdiction that they have passed laws which make bikinis in public illegal.

The ordinance will prohibit public exposure of the genitals or any part of a female breast below the upper edge of the areola. Violators can be charged with a misdemeanor, which is punishable by a fine of up to $1,000 and up to 90 days in jail.

As you can see by the above graphic, the woman wearing that particular bikini is exposing some of her breast area "below the upper edge of the areola" in the cleavage area, and is therefore subject to arrest and incarceration.

Are Sumner police going to go around with a long ruler measuring breasts? And why is the skin below the areola illegal, but the skin above is not? Is there an age limit to the law? What about a toddler running naked under a sprinkler in a back yard? Do we lock her up too? The entire concept is beyond ridiculous.

So here's to the City Council of Sumner, for protecting society from the deadly female nipple, which is now apparently public enemy number one.

Baristagate Continues in Washington State

A barista in Puyallup Washington was arrested and charged with indecent exposure when she was seen outside the Bikini Bottom Espresso stand wearing only a bottom and pasties.

"I saw her out of the corner of my eye," said Robin Whitten of Olympia. "I hadn’t approached the stand yet, and you could see boob, and of course a bikini bottom, and I said, 'No way! This chick is not standing out there with no shirt on.'"

Naturally, Whitten called the cops because everyone knows that female breasts are dangerous to children and small furry animals.

Since the woman was wearing pasties on her nipples, it's unclear whether or not she was technically violating any indecent exposure laws. According to the Naturist Action Committee, the laws in Washington state are pretty vague. Perhaps Paul Rapoport of TERA will have something to add to this.