Monday, September 14, 2009

"Talk to a Therapist"

A woman writes to Ellie complaining about her 25 year-old daughter's penchant for wearing low-cut and see-through tops.
We now have a good relationship and she visits us often. However, she has taken to going braless in flimsy materials where her full breasts and nipples are visible. I wouldn't want any woman coming to my home with my husband there, wearing practically nothing.
Instead of Ellie explaining to "Stressed" that nipples and breasts are nothing to get upset about, she offers this advice:
It's time you stopped being afraid to alienate her ... This may even be her adult way of "testing you," wanting you to care enough to be honest (without putting her down). Try to do it gently and with humour, as in, "You're gorgeous but we're seeing too much of you for parental comfort, so here's a shirt to wear while you're here." Also, be upfront in explaining that the younger girls aren't allowed to dress like that, as they're not as capable as she is of handling any overt reaction.

However, "sexual jealousy" has nothing to do with her clothing. It's related to your insecurities – perhaps about middle age, perhaps about your marriage. If it persists, talk to a therapist about it.
So, Ellie tells her to alienate her daughter by telling her to cover up, teach the younger children that the older daughter dresses like a slut, and to talk to a therapist. All over the sight of female breasts! How about telling the woman to simply stop staring at her daughter's breasts if they're upsetting her so much.

What other culture on earth would allow nipples to potentially break up a family? Complete insanity.


Jim P said...

With all the idiots out there, I can understand concern over how a woman dresses. In her parents home she should be able to dress however she chooses as far as safety is concerned. Her mother is making a big deal out of nothing because she is not concerned for the right reasons.

Anna said...

Surely there's a difference between dressing sexy and being naked. At least I thought that was the nudist position - ie that its clothes that makes the body sexy.

So, this shouldn't be a nudist issue. In fact a nudist can be just as upset with a daughter dressing like a slut as anyone else because nudity isn't the issue but instead sexy clothes is the issue.

Perhaps only a nudist can understand that one can be a nudist and still be "modest" when it comes to dressing appropriately. One has to do with just being free and natural and the other has to do with sexifying your body.

It all has to do with context.